Cats are the only unsocial animals that we have successfully domesticated. When we are disappointed that we do not feel connected to them as easily as to dogs, do we just miss something?

Why do we sometimes think that our cats don’t like us? Is it up to us or up to them?

Sniffing, wagging their tails — are indicators of pleasure, nervousness, or sincere joy. Despite the idea of a famous painting, dogs would play awful poker. We recognize the signs they give off too easily.

They also have complex body language. They show moods by twitching their tails, bristling fur, and the position of their ears and mustaches. Spinning usually (but not always) signals friendly feelings or pleasure.

These signs are usually a reliable method for determining if a cat is in a friendly mood or not.

The connection we have with the dog is something we can be pretty sure about, cats still have a somewhat bad reputation. Even though domesticated cats have been keeping us company for thousands of years.

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Independence, which many consider an advantage, others perceive as coldness, indifference, or selfishness.

Those who belittle them claim that they only actually show affection when their food container is empty.

Cat owners will claim that this is all nonsense. Also, their connection to their pet is as strong as that felt by any dog owner.

Why, then, does the impression of cats persist, that they are cold and not friendly? And is there any truth in it?

At the very least, the notion of cats as “independent” has not harmed their popularity as a pet.

There are up to 10 million pet cats in the United Kingdom alone. In a study conducted in 2012, it was estimated that approximately 25% of households have at least one of them.

One reason for the reputation that cats have may stem from the way they were originally domesticated.

The domestication process was much more gradual than with dogs, and in that process, they largely took the lead.

Domesticated cats began to appear in villages in the Middle East in the Neolithic era, approximately 10,000 years ago.

They did not depend for food on their early human hosts. They encouraged them to find it on their own.

This ensured that there were no rats or other pests in food crops and warehouses.

Our relationship with cats was more distant from the very beginning than with dogs. Dogs helped us in the hunt and depended on us to give them a share of the catch.

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A cat that is currently curled up on your couch retained many of the instincts her ancestors had before domestication. That is a desire to hunt, to control, and guard territory against others. Cats are much closer to former versions of themselves than dogs are.

“It’s mostly about a human misunderstanding of cats as a species,” said Karen Histend, a veterinarian and manager of the International Cat Care cat organization.

“Dogs and humans are very similar and have lived together for a very long time. In a way, it has always been coevolution. Everything happened with cats much more recently. They come from a lone ancestor who is not a social species. “

The African wild cat — Felis lybica — whose domesticated offspring is today’s domestic cat, usually lives alone. It meets other cats mostly just for mating.

“Cats are the only unsociable animals that have been domesticated. All the other animals we have domesticated have a social connection with other members of their species. “

Because cats are so different from other animals, it’s no surprise that we may have misunderstood their signals.

“Because they are so self-willed and know how to take care of themselves, cats are becoming more and more popular,” says Histend.

“But it is a completely different question whether such a way of life suits them. People expect cats to be like us and like dogs. And they just aren’t like that. “

Much of the research is still in its early stages, but the sociability of cats in relation to humans has a really complicated scope.

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“The social side of cats can come from what they experience in the first six or eight weeks of life. If the experiences they have in the early period of life are positive, they will probably like people.”

Even just pushing cats can be of different sizes.

Previously domestic cats often hide or run away from people, and they behave more like their wild ancestors.

In some places, for example in the Mediterranean countries and in Japan, colonies of “common cats” live in prosperity in fishing villages because they are friendly enough to flatter the locals who feed them.

In Istanbul, for example, residents feed and take care of cats that are semi-stray and have become part of the city’s landmarks, about which there is a documentary.

Then there are the cats that live with us, but even that subcategory is very diverse — some keep people at a relative distance, while others thrive perfectly in human society.

So, if we want a strong connection with our cats, what should we pay attention to?

Just like dogs, cats communicate more with their bodies than through sound.

“I think it’s much harder for people to interpret their body language than dog body language,” says Christine Vitale, a doctor of science who studies cat behavior. It doesn’t have to be the cat’s fault.

One key feature may have allowed dogs to overtake cats in the competition for human affection.

A study from the University of Portsmouth showed that dogs have learned to imitate the facial expressions of very young children. That causes a desire to be nurtured by their owners.

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This change appears to have been caused by the development of muscles to raise the inner sides of the eyebrows, which is not present in their wolf ancestors.

“Cute look” is not just a cliché, but an evolutionary trick that has strengthened the bond between dogs and humans.

The bad news for cats is that they don’t have that muscle.

As a result, when a cat stares at you, it may seem cold or hostile, and when two cats are viewed that way, it can often be an introduction to a fight.

However, staring with a slow blink — and that’s probably how your cat looks at you from the other side of the room — is a completely different story.

It is their way of expressing love. Even turning your head to one side does not necessarily mean arrogance or contempt, but is a sign that they are relaxing.

Vitale draws attention to a study she conducted at the University of Oregon, in which the owners left cats and dogs in the room, and then suddenly returned a little later.

“One interesting thing is that the cats that felt safe with their owners mostly greeted them when they returned, and then continued to explore the room, coming to them again briefly. The dogs behaved similarly, “says Vitale.

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“If a dog ran around the room playing with toys, and occasionally came to its owner, we wouldn’t worry so much.”

Researchers have called it “safe attachment”, which means calmness when the owner returns, which indicates a strong emotional connection.

Cats that are relaxed are more likely to want to make friends

“The prejudices that people have in their expectations of animals affect their behavior,” says Vitale.

When we try to make cats behave more like dogs, that is, to shower us with attention, we are actually trying to distance them from their natural behavior.

Histend believes that part of the problem is our eternal inability to see that the temperament of cats is different from the temperament of dogs.

Even experts who have been trained for years face this problem.

“I went to a conference in 2007 and I felt like a complete idiot,” says Histend.

“We were given all sorts of basic information about cats, which I didn’t know, for example, that they like to have water and food in separate places. It’s all pretty new research, but if you approach it with a modest awareness that what you thought you knew about cats was actually wrong, you’ll start learning interesting things. “

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Take for example the way cats rub against their owners.

It used to be considered a kind of marking of the territory, as wild cats do with trees and other prominent places on their territory.

But when cats do this with humans, it is usually a sign of alliance and connection — the cat transmits its scent to your skin, and at the same time your scent to its fur.

So do wild cats treat other cats that are their allies. It is a way of creating a “common scent”, in order to distinguish friends from enemies.

After all, says Histend, one thing is crucial — cats that are relaxed are more likely to want to make friends.

“They want their water and food, sleeping place and sandbox to be exactly as they should be, and when it’s as it should be, then they’re ready to explore social connections.”

Therefore, the next time you come home and notice that the cat is calmly studying you from the couch or that it is yawning lazily as it slowly walks towards the hallway, do not be disappointed.

So in his own, gentle way, he lets you know that he is looking forward to seeing you.

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